This is day 20 in a 31 day series on Living Boldly. To read the other posts, go here. Welcome!
Dum-da-dum. Insecurity. No one’s favorite topic.
But in a series on Living Boldly, I couldn’t leave this one alone. Because it is insecurities that can stop us from being bold, from living in hope.
I’m no expert, but it seems to me that insecurities stem from fears.
We fear people’s opinions of us (or our homemaking/decorating/cooking abilities), so we feel insecure about inviting folks over. We fear disappointment/hurt/betrayal in relationships so we feel insecure about opening up. We fear not being physically attractive, so we work to hide our perceived flaws.
Let’s camp out on that last one for a minute.
I am 30ish weeks pregnant with baby #3 (still taking name suggestions). Pregnancy, while amazing and miraculous and beautiful, also comes with its pitfalls. I’ll spare you tales of the gorier ones.
However, I will say that I apparently posses a perfect storm of bad genes, small veins, and extra sensitivity to hormonal changes. So for the second time, I’m dealing with a pretty gnarly display of spider and varicose veins.
FYI, it’s not attractive. It’s also rather painful. The support stockings help. (Not attractive either).
And since the pain is relatively manageable, I’m really just left to wallow in the reality that at 32 I have the legs of an 80 year old woman.
Yes, it will probably get a little better after I birth this kid. Yes, there are procedures that can help if I really want to go down that road. Yes, it’s a small price to pay for the privilege of carrying this little life. Yes, I know that my worth and true beauty does not rest my physical appearance.
But no, I did not embrace shorts-season this year. At least not at first.
At first, I held onto capris and leggings as long as possible. I felt safer and less exposed. Come June, I also started to feel hot.
So I decided to practice what I was preaching to myself about living boldly in 2014 and wear those darn leg-revealing clothes.
And you know what happened? Absolutely nothing.
No one made horrified remarks and hid their eyes. My husband didn’t love me any less or think I was any less attractive. My friends probably didn’t even notice or didn’t say anything if they did.
Bottom line? People who truly love me aren’t going to treat me differently because of physical flaws. And I don’t have to fixate on things that aren’t essential to who I am.
Pretty basic truths but ones I needed reminding of this year.
For me, boldness in the face of insecurities looks like hoping in what God says is true of me despite fears about what other people will think.
What does boldness in the face of insecurity look like for you?
P.S. You might also want to check out my blogging-friend Emily’s series, 31 Days of Gentleness for the Rest of Us. It compliments a series on boldness well :).