Boldy Making Friends When You Might Be Moving

Boldly Making Friends When You Might Be Moving  A Simple Haven

This is day 14 in a 31 day series on Living Boldly. To rest the other posts, go here. Welcome!

I told you that I hope for honest, authentic relationships where we bear each other’s burdens and share in one another’s joys. Maybe your hopes are similar.

Well, what if you know you’ll eventually move? Or might move?

Do you continue to invest in the people in your community, spending the time and effort needed to grow those relationships? Or do you check out, pull back, “guard your heart” from getting broken quite so badly when the move eventually happens?

As someone who’s moved 11 times in 8 years, I’ve wrestled with these questions a bit.

But I’ve decided that any pain that comes with leaving is worth the joy of dear friendships.

Yes, It’s Hard

The deeper the friendships, the more it hurts to leave. Boy do I know about that.

Our three years in Dallas was by far the longest we’d lived anywhere. And the friends we made there truly felt like family.

Then we moved. In the middle of winter. To a Midwestern farm town where we knew no one. And I was very, very pregnant with #2. Then my husband had double foot surgery and started grad school. (Cue sad violins).

It was all pretty pitiful. It was also pretty amazing to see how God provided for us during that time. But that’s another story.

But It’s Worth the Effort

Yes, it was a hard season. Yes, I missed my friends in Texas desperately. No, I didn’t always feel like “putting myself out there” and making new ones.

Full disclosure: every time we move, I whine to Hubs about how I don’t want to make new friends/what if no one wants to be my friend? He’s gotten very good at reassuring me.

But at that point, I had also determined that even if we weren’t here in Farm Town long (Lord, I hoped we wouldn’t be here long), I needed to live in community with others while I was here.

Because I believe we were made to go through life’s hills and valleys with other people. Because life is richer when shared with friends. Because I really, really needed people to bring me meals after I had my baby. (Ahem. Cough).

Because anyway, what’s the alternative?

Shallow friendships. No one truly knowing you. Missing out on the blessing of knowing and learning from new friends.

Bummer if/when you move? Totally. But bigger bummer if you miss out on the friendships that could have been.

Have you ever left friends behind? Or struggled with how much to invest in a new place?

PS, Are you moving any time soon? If so, go grab a copy of my free eBook, The Homemaker’s Manifesto: Loving the Home You Have. It’s a quick encouragement to make the most of your new place. šŸ™‚

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About Jenn

Jenn is a mommy of three and wife to her best friend. She enjoys good books, dinner guests, elevenses, and proper apostrophe use.

  • I think I need to read your book again because this move is harder then I expected and I’m not yet in love with this place. Also, I think of you a lot during October and grateful for our weekend last year.

    • Oh friend. Give yourself a good month or six to grieve the losses. That’s what I always tell myself, anyway :). You left such a fantastic place, it would take me a while to adjust, too.
      Ditto on last October, so so thankful! xoxo

  • emmillerwrites

    It’s so true: I missed out when I first moved to Chicago. I (thought I) only was there for a short internship, and I didn’t want to invest in the city or building relationships here. I spent a cold, lonely winter holed up in my apartment when I could have been out exploring with new friends.

    • Shoot, and those Chicago winters can be brutal. I remember spending my first one holed up in our apartment playing Scattergories with my husband :).