Boldly Talking About Babies

31 Days of Living Boldly | A Simple Haven

This is day 22 in a 31 day series on Living Boldly. To read the other posts, go here. Welcome!

When it comes to talking about trying to get pregnant, I generally keep my cards pretty close. Probably out of self-preservation, because talking a lot about wanting to have a baby can feel pretty vulnerable.

What if it takes a while? What if it doesn’t happen at all?

Fertility issues are real and hard and I’ve experienced a (small) taste of waiting to conceive a baby.

So while close friends knew when we were trying to get pregnant with Bun–which I was glad for when I needed moral support for the better part of a year that it took–I wasn’t in a big hurry to tell the world when we started trying for baby #3.

Until I remembered my One Word for 2014: Bold.

And suddenly it felt so right to tell people we were hoping for, going to try for, another baby. It still felt risky to put my cards out there; the what ifs never go away.

But I decided I’d rather have people know and hoping with us. And mourning with us, if it ever came to that.

So I told you here that I’d love to have another baby this year.  Then I got pregnant. And I considered boldness again: when do we share the news?

I used to make fun of people who couldn't read pregnancy tests. This time, I needed to take three to get conclusive results. I retract my heckling.
I used to make fun of people who can’t read pregnancy tests. This time, I took three to get conclusive results. I retract my heckling.

Everyone seems to roll differently here: there’s the text everyone after you take the test approach. The wait to see the heartbeat at 9ish weeks plan. Or the no sharing until the first trimester is over.

This being our 3rd child, we did not have a clear plan. Ultimately, we did a random assortment of the first two and everyone pretty much knew before the end of the first trimester.

I know that can feel risky to some, especially those who have lost babies.

But I’ve also seen moms of multiple miscarriages share news of their pregnancy on the early side–so that friends would be able to better understand and support them if anything did happen to the baby.

Over the last year or so, I’ve seen friends miscarry at nine weeks, thirteen weeks, and sixteen weeks. I know a momma who delivered a baby and spent only a few hours with her alive. I know another momma who lost her little guy when he was four.

All of this makes me realize: Boldness is not about how much you say you want a baby or when tell people you’re pregnant. Boldness is always just about living in hope and not fear.

Fear will always be an option. Something can always happen. Children are no safer outside the womb than inside it.

But even after tragedy, hope is an option too. I’m thankful for people who are living that way and encourage others as they do.

Does talking about wanting a baby or being pregnant feel bold to you?

P.S. You might also want to check out my blogging-friend Emily’s series, 31 Days of Gentleness for the Rest of Us. It compliments a series on boldness well :).


About Jenn

Jenn is a mommy of three and wife to her best friend. She enjoys good books, dinner guests, elevenses, and proper apostrophe use.